Thursday, March 13, 2008
Ah, Daylight Saving Time - the annual spring ritual when the United States government flexes its muscles to display its power over the solar system. Not to be outdone by God, who in Genesis separated the dark from the light, and not to be outdone by Joshua, who asked God to make the sun stand still, the federal government proclaims the dark to move to the morning, and the light to move to the evening, and it is Good. Or is it?
To accomplish this, the government has to take a major step. It has to “steal” one hour from our lives every spring. One minute it’s 2 a.m., and then next minute it’s 3 a.m. - just like that - and a full hour is gone, vanished, at the direction of the Feds. What might you have accomplished in that hour? It was an hour of unlimited possibilities - disappearing in an instant! At first glance, this seems immoral. But not to worry, they say. The government is just “borrowing” that hour from you. You will get that hour back in the fall, and it all balances out. So it all makes sense. Or does it?
There are people who actually believe that Daylight Saving Time can really “save” daylight and move it around, and undoubtedly these people have superior intellect, so to them I present this intriguing question: What happens to the people who die between the beginning of Daylight Saving Time in the spring and the end of Daylight Saving Time in the fall? Through no fault of their own, those unfortunate souls have really been thrown into a predicament. They’ve lost an hour of their lives - never to get it back! In their case, that hour has not been borrowed - it has been stolen!
Here’s an idea: What if we filed a class action suit against the United States government on behalf of all those people whose hour was stolen - yes, stolen - in the spring, people who died before the government could return to them their rightful 60 minutes? Surely their families must be compensated. What price can one put on an hour of life - the most precious of commodities? A lawsuit like this asking for exorbitant damages could bankrupt the whole country! And no doubt in this litigious nation, there are more than a few lawyers who will line up eagerly to prosecute such a case.
I just love logical reasoning - and then there's the other kind. Maybe the government will think twice before ever instituting such a law in the future. When will we ever learn that you just can’t fool Mother Nature?